1989 -1990 – Time around Osho Leaving His Physical Body
Another significant phase of Osho Shailendra ji’s life was around a year before Osho leaving His body. Osho was well aware that the time to leave His body has come. He was not only aware but also was in acceptance for His Death. He made all preparations in advance. In Osho Shailendra ji’s personal opinion – Osho tried His best not only to awaken people all His life but also use the opportunity of death as a tool for the same. Around April, 1989 i.e. 9 months before His leaving the body – Osho got the sub-titles of several books changed just to convey this message.
A mystic like Osho is in total accord with the course of life, nature, existence. As a child is in mother’s womb for 9 months and in those 9 months gradually the baby’s body and mind is developed; a Child’s birth is a process of 9 months. Similarly Osho planned His departure in 9 months. On 10th April, 1989 Osho gave His last discourse to the sannyasins. He started being in almost complete silence. His intense retreat inward was towards culmination in those days. He appointed an “Inner Circle” of 21 disciples to take care of the institution and guided them broadly.
3 months before He left His body, Osho developed White-Robe Brotherhood meditation for daily evenings. In this time, when day meets night, He formulated this meditation as a device for each of us to have a glimpse of within. This was His effort for making us all listen to the Divine Melody. The entire process of evening meditation with drum beat, music and silence was a technique evolved to give masses an initiation to the sound of silence.
In order to deepen this process, Osho tried in another way. One and a half month before – almost in Dec, 1989 – Osho sent message through His secretary to all His disciples that someone is reciting a mantra, is chanting some mantra; and that mantra is causing Him great harm. It is having a harsh impact on Osho’s Hara Chakra. Just request that person to stop repeating that Mantra. According to Osho Shailendra ji, this was an attempt made by Osho to make us all conscious of the Sound of One hand clapping.
All sannyasins became worried as their Master’s life was at stake. Becoming more alert, they tried their best to listen and find the source of that Mantra being repeated. But none could find. Osho further guided, that the sound of Mantra is coming from the right Side. This signifies Osho’s effort to listen to AUM – the sound within from the right ear side. But all efforts of sannyasins seemed to be futile. All sannyasins tried their best but were left with despair. They tried changing positions and listened. Evening video recording of people were done to view who was the person reciting the Mantra. It was Osho’s compassion to use this as a method to kindle a fire of awareness within each of us. It is only during time of danger that we become so alert, so aware – so creating a milieu of threat may serve an opportunity for His disciples to rise higher and know the divinity echoing inside.
Seeming this also insufficient, Osho instructed to make a new bedroom for him. It was massive with huge height. With transparent glass walls, it didn’t look like a bedroom at all. It was made with specifications like it should be completely sound proof. No music should be played or be audible there. It hardly had any external walls but had reflective glass through which the serene nature enveloping trees, waterfall, the sky was visible. It should be centrally air-conditioned but its duct should be away so that its noice would not disturb. After it was constructed, Osho lived in that room for few days and returned back to His old small room. That newly made room was not going to be Osho’s bedroom but His Samadhi where Hisasthi are kept.
He got engraved on the bed –
Just the space for His day of leaving the body was left empty.
He knew if would have pre-informed it to be His Samadhi, this could be a shock for all the disciples. They could be in trauma and instead of progressing well in their Sadhana and in turn pace of search inside would hamper and result is stunted growth. So keeping this as a secret, He formulated this trick of it being His bedroom.
This room is a place for seekers to come and sit in silence and to know the inner music. All this was his concern towards all the seekers. He made all facilities so that even after leaving the body, it can serve people to know the treasure within. He made a provision for people to witness Group Samadhi.
Osho Leaving His Physical Body
Osho Shailendra ji has an old friend named Banke. He once visited to Oshodhara Nanak Dham on 19th Jan, 2008 which is also called as Osho Amrit Diwas – the day when Paramguru Osho left His body. At the culmination of the function that day, Osho Shailendra ji was delivering His speech in which he described an instance of mid-1989. He remembered that series of incidents as a flash was primarily due to 2 things – firstly it being Osho’s Amrit Diwas and his friend Banke’s visit. It was around June of year 1989, almost six months before Osho left His body. Ma Osho Priya used to have a vision repeatedly that Osho is going away from us, sitting in the car. Similarly did Osho Shailendra ji used to see Osho going away by plane. And they had a gut feeling attached to it “Osho is going”.
Once Banke came to Osho Shailendra ji’s home saying something similar. He also had a feeling Osho is going to leave His body. He further said – I saw all sannyasins in white robes gathered around Osho’s dead body in evening time. But all this seemed impossible as during that white robe brotherhood meditation had not started yet. Even after inquiring from Pune ashram, they were informed Osho is doing fine. But the intuition and the feeling being so strong, Both of them decided to go and stay in Pune ashram.
When they arrived in ashram, soon Osho had sent message to all his sannyasins for Evening White robe meditation whereby people would wear white robes. Now things that were seen by Banke in his vision, started taking shapes. Now the meaning of their dreams in which they saw Him going away either by car or plane was revealed. Things happened in the same order as Banke had seen. And on 19th Jan, 1990 Osho left His physical body and became one with the existence. This made it absolutely clear somewhere in our deepest core, we all are connected and we get to know things existentially.
Life, it’s limit and Death
The value for Life and death both was explained to me with two incidents of Osho Shailendra ji’s life.
The First one – Osho Shailendra ji’s father – Swami Devateerth Bharti during his old age had developed blood clottings in his leg. He was known as Daddaji by all. He was taken for doctor’s advice and consultation. The doctor suggested that the leg should be amputated or else the clots would go on spreading. Swami Devateerth Bharti said further action would be taken only after knowing Osho’s opinion in this regards. To which Osho denied. With this He learnt, life is beautiful and so is death. After a certain age, physical body will deteriorate. It has its limits. Some illness and diseases would attack. It would cause some pain and sufferings. That is natural course of life and it should be accepted with great reverence. This value got engraved in the heart of Osho Shailendra ji & Ma Osho Priya. Osho guidelines were followed and Daddaji refused the surgeon to operate on his leg.
The second instance – Death of Osho Shailendra ji’s mother (Mataji). In her last day, Mataji had asked Ma Osho Priya not to take her to hospital. She realized herself that the death is knocking the door. And she was leaving her body in sheer awareness. Her leaving body was not in darkness but in light of self-realization. Ma Osho Priya pleaded its Mataji’s wish not to take her to hospital and we shall stand by it.
On night of 16th May 1995, she gathered all family members to do bhajan- keertan. After serving food to everyone, Mataji requested all should leave and only one son – Niklank ji should stay with her. Osho Shailendra ji sat silently outside the room – it was His passive love and dedication towards her mother. His love did not impose medical treatment, neither made him crazy. It was as per the need. When there was need, due care was taken and then a let-go, complete acceptance and patient waiting. On 17th May, at 4 a.m. Mataji left her body consciously. Few hours before, she laid herself down on the ground and closed her eyes as her last indication of surrendering the body in hands of the Ultimate.
Realizing the Divine Sound
Shailendra ji once narrated- ‘Ma Yoga Neelam, Osho’s secretary and in charge of Osho Commune International, Pune, India, requested me many times to become a meditation camp leader, but I always refused. My argument was, “I cannot say things which I have not experienced myself. I want to be authentic. I have not reached the goal of spiritualism, so how can I preach about it? If in the future, I experience the divinity, definitely I shall shout from the rooftops. But right now I am in darkness; I have no authority to speak about light and guide people. Please excuse me, let me remain silent and do my own sadhana.”
‘I remember the fortunate day of January 19, 1998, when I started hearing a source less melody suddenly. In the evening when my wife retuned from her job, I wanted to tell her about this strange wordless voice. But before I could speak anything, she said, “Do you know, something went wrong with my ears. Since morning meditation, I hear some mysterious harmony continuously.” I exclaimed, “What! The same thing I was going to tell you. I am also hearing something strange since doing Dynamic this morning. I got my blood pressure and blood sugar level checked in the hospital, it was normal. ” Both of us could not figure out anything regarding it. Being a doctor I was sure it wasn’t an ear disorder. Husband and wife, both can not get the same ear-disease, on the same day, in the same hour.
A week later, Osho Siddhartha came to visit Amlai, the place where I lived for almost a decade; and he explained the mystery of the divine sound, what Zen masters call ‘the sound of one hand clapping.’ After attending the first Samadhi Pragya program under his guidance, in April 1998, at a small hill station Amarkantak, a transformation happened in my life. I got glimpses of the eternal truth within myself. I informed Neelam, that I was ready. I had received the gift, which Osho always wanted to give us in silence. It is the same gift, which was given to Mahakashyapa by Buddha, to Meera by Raidas. I started conducting meditation camps and stress management workshops in May 1998. For the first time I started giving public discourses, answers to questions from audience, interviews to press media, etc.
During one of such programs, I met an old classmate, who was my neighbor in the hostel. He was surprised to see me talking the whole day, from morning to evening. This was unbelievable for him, because when I was studying medicine, I lived with more than 500 students in a medical college hostel, and he lived next door to me. I spoke so little during that period of five and half years that many of my hostel mates had never heard my voice. I was often mute, preferring silence, and I never had to repent for that. I observed that most of the fights amongst the students, sometimes reaching up to violence, start with a few ugly words only. Later on, I thought it over and found that it’s not only true about small conflicts; the same phenomenon takes place on large-scale bloodshed’s as well. Even wars start because of improper words coming out of a politician’s mouth. If humanity learns the art of speech, the paradise can descend on the earth.
Experiencing and Playing with Divine Light – Alok
I started my spiritual search as a seeking for eternal bliss, but I came across many other dimensions of divinity in the path. One of them is Divine light.
I had heard many things about it. Some talked about it as very bright light like thousands of sun shine. Some others talked of it as moon, stars, or burning lamp with flame. I had read about blue pearl, golden flower, thousand petal lotuses.
For the first time when I was told by Swamiji (Osho Siddhartha) about it, I started just closing my eyes and searching for the inner light. One day I stumbled upon it, and that day was a day of great discovery for me; no other discovery is comparable to it. That day I became an immortal. I felt that real Sannyas is an initiation into light. After seeing the beauty and aliveness of inner world of colors, all colors of rainbows and outside world looked pale in comparison to that. I realized how important it is to search for this light inside, which is there in every one of us. It is the innermost core and the very source of our life. To find the inner light is to find godliness.
Once I discovered it, it became my meditation. It became my companion. It became a part of my thinking, a part of my contemplation. I started watching a star appearing or disappearing in the sky, the sun rising in the east or setting in the west, the moon showering its elixir on Earth, or flame of a candle dancing in the room.
The outer sky looked just a replica of the inner sky. I saw one expanse outside and one expanse within. As the outer sky is sometimes covered with clouds, I noticed that the inner sky is also sometimes covered with clouds of thoughts, desires, and passions. Removing these inner clouds and seeing into the inner blue sky became my meditation.
I could see God by closing my eyes as much as I could see world with open eyes. I realized that for seeing the form, I have to use my external eyes, and for knowing the formless, I have to use my inner eyes.
I started appreciating two Sandhyas –one before sunrise and the other after sunset—and why Hindus have made that period the time of worship and prayer. It appeared to me merely a symbol of inner sandhya, which is neither complete darkness nor clear light. It is a kind of diffused light, known as alok. It Once I knew the light within, then coming out of it, even outside, I could see it. In fact all distinction between within and without disappeared. Since then there is no darkness at all; it is all divine brightness. God is radiating from each stone, each flower, and each person. I feel, as if the sleep of a thousand years has been broken. There is light, and light alone.
Whenever I am in a kind of let-go, I feel a great light inside me. That happens automatically. I do not see any shape. I see only a silent light, a formless light. I feel a great light inside and a great delight outside. It happens naturally. I feel centered. I am in this world and yet beyond it.